How I Met Your Mother Spankings
by 333Yukio333
Summary: One-shots of the guys from How I Met Your Mother getting spanked. Contains M/M spanking of adults. If that's not your thing, DO. NOT. READ. THIS!
1. Ted's Birthday

Ted Mosby ran his hand through his hair, yawning. He had just woken up, and he stepped out of his room, still wearing his pajamas, walking toward his couch. He flopped down onto it, and groggily grabbed the remote, turning the TV on, and flipping through channels. Today was his 33rd birthday, but he didn't have any plans until later in the day, so he planned to relax until then. At least, until there was a knock on the door. He blinked, not expecting a visit this early, but walked to the door and opened it.

"Hey Ted! Happy Birthday, dude!" Barney Stinson, one of his best friends exclaimed, patting him on the shoulder. Marshall Erikson, another of his friends smiled. "Yeah, Ted. Happy Birthday. Ted chuckled. "Thanks, guys. Why are you here so early, weren't we supposed to meet at the bar in, like, five hours?" he asked, inviting the two men in, as all three sat on the couch. Barney nodded. "Yes, but we decided that it would be better to do what we are planning in private." he said, turning towards Ted with a smirk.

Ted looked at him confused. "Uhm... that smirk isn't exactly assuring..." the architect pointed out. "What he means is, we have to follow tradition, and you probably would rather do it here." Marshall chimed in. Ted tilted his head. "Tradition?" Barney chuckled. "Come on Ted, you know what everyone is supposed to get on their birthdays!" he shouted, throwing his arm over Ted's shoulder. Ted was still confused. "Uh... presents?"

"Well... yes, but we were talking about something else..." Marshall said. Ted shrugged. "I don't know what you two are talking about..." Barney smirked. "Maybe this will help you remember!" he shouted, as he grabbed Ted's wrist, as he guided him over his lap, face-down. As he was met with a view of the floor, he suddenly understood what his friends were hinting at. His face blushed a bright red. "Barney... you're not planning on-"

"Oh, of course I am." his friend cut him off, raising his knee, to raise Ted's backside, giving a better target. "Today's your 33th, right? So 33 from me, and then 33 from Marshall." he explained, raising his hand. "Hey, you know, you're forgetting something, Barney." Marshall mentioned, interrupting the first swat. Barney looked at him. "What?" Marshall smirked. "As far as I remember, growing up, all of the birthday spankings I remember were on the bare." he remarked, making Ted blush even more.

"Oh yeah! How could I forget?" Barney said, grabbing the hem of Ted's pajamas and dragging them down, along with his boxers, exposing his backside. "Ready, Ted?" he asked, raising his hand once more. Ted shook his head. "This is for kids! Let me u- Ow!" he yelped, as Barney gave his right cheek a light smack. It was less a yelp of pain, and more out of surprise. "Come on Ted, count them out for me!" he exclaimed, giving an equally light swat to his left cheek.

"Ow!" Ted sighed, knowing there was no way out of this, so just decided to play along. "Two." Barney smirked. "That's more like it!" And gave two more smacks, these ones a bit harder. "Ung! Three, four." Ted continued counting out his spanks. This caused Barney to smirk. "Time for the real spanking!" he exclaimed, landing six harder smacks in succession, alternating between cheeks. "Ow! F-Five! AH! Six! Ung! Gah! Seven, Eight, N-nine! OW! Ten!" he exclaimed, struggling a bit to escape the pain.

Barney smirked, as he saw pink hand prints form on Ted's exposed bottom. "Come on, Ted! You've still got 23, and that's just from me! Man up!" he said, quickly landing swat after swat, keeping up a beat, only stopping when he got to 30. By now,Ted's entire rear was a deep shade of pink. "Almost done with the first half, Ted!" He decided to space the last few out. _**Smack!**_"Ow! Th-thirty one!" **SMACK!** "YEOW! Thirty- t-two!" _**SMACK!**_"Gah! Thirty-three!" Barney smirked, before landing one more especially hard smack right in the center of Ted's rear. Änd... **ONE** to grow on!"he said, before letting Ted get up.

The architect jumped up, and rubbed his sore rear for a little, before Marshall took him, and pulled him over his own lap. Ted gasped. "C-come on, Marshall! I already got mine!" Marshall shook his head, and raised his hand. "I didn't get my turn yet! If it were my birthday, I'd let you spank me!" he said, before smacking Ted's freshly spanked rear. "You don't need to count them again"he said, before landing two more swats, not as hard as Barney, since Marshall didn't want to cause him any _real_ pain.

Marshall continued the spanking, continously slapping Ted's rear, without missing a beat. Barney nodded in approval. "Hey, Marshall, you're really good at this! Where did you learn how to spank like that?"he asked. Marshall continued spanking, currently, around the 15th swat. Without stopping, he looked toward Barney. "My dad would spank my brothers and I as kids, so when one of us annoyed someone, we would spank them. Of course, we got spanked for that too... Alright, what was that, 30?" Ted slowly nodded, his rear now a bright red, matching his face. "All right then, three more!"

_**SPANK! SMACK**_** SWAT!** Marshall decided to pity Ted, and get it over with quickly. **WHACK!** "And one to grow on!" he siled, letting Ted up for good. He repeated his actions after Barney spanked him, but this time he pulled his boxers and pajamas up, wincing as they rubbed against his sore backside. "Gah... that's gonna hurt for awhile..." he sighed, rubbing his rear. His two friends smirked. "Yup! You took it like a real man!" Barney remarked, patting him on the back. Ted turned to him. "Hey your birthday's up next right? I can't wait to get revenge." he said, with an evil smirk. Barney looked a bit worried, as his other friend laughed and sat down (some more comfortably than others!).


	2. Tardiness

Ted Mosby groaned as he lay his head on the table of the booth his friends always sat at, alone. Robin was doing a newscast, Marshall and Lily were stuck with work, and Barney was... supposed to be here. The two had planned on meeting here to go out for the night. The architect sighed, and looked at his watch. 9:34PM. He was supposed to be there at 8. The man decided to give up and go home. As he was getting ready to leave, guess who walked in the door?

"Hey! Ted, my man!" Barney Stinson grinned, waling over to his friend. "Are you ready to go out?" he asked, as if nothing was wrong. Ted glared at him. "Barney, you're like almost, two hours late, I'm going home." Barney stopped him. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on, bro!" he tried. "It's not that big of a deal. So, I'm a little late..." Ted scoffed. "A little? Give me a reason to go with you." he glared.

Barney sighed. "Hey, hey, hey. Come on. Look, I'm sorry. Just come on, tonight's gonna be Legen..." Ted cut him off. "Say 'dary', and I'll leave now." Barney groaned. "Come on, what do I have to do?" he asked. Ted looked at him. "Stop always being late." he said flatly. Barney groaned. "How am I supposed to do that? You know me!" Ted shrugged. "Maybe you just need something to help you remember?" he suggested. Barney looked at him skeptically. "And what would that be? A calender? Already tried it. Notes? Not gonna happen."

Ted paused for a moment, thinking. He thought back to how this was solved in his childhood. He shuddered, just at the thought of him forgetting to do his chores, and the punishment that followed. But then he looked at Barney, and smirked. "I know. A spanking." he suggested with a chuckle. Barney stared for a moment and then laughed. "Ha ha ha! Good one, Ted." he complimented. Ted stared at him dead in the eye. "I'm not kidding."

Barney went pale. "No way Ted! I'm not a kid anymore." Ted shrugged. "Whatever, don't invite me to anything else." he said, turning away. Barney bit his lip. "Wait! ...fine." Ted smirked. "Alright." he said, pulling up a chair, sitting down. "Come here." Barney blushed. "H-Hey! Not here!" he shouted. Ted looked at him. "It's here or nowhere. Besides, everyone here knows you need it, and would love seeing it." he reasoned. Barney looked around, seeing everyone looking at him. He shook his head. He was gonna take this like a man, and prove himself to everyone. Plus, some girls like this, so it might even get him a date.

"...Alright." he said, hesitantly walking to Ted, who took hold of his arm, pulling him over his lap, adjusting him slightly to get the best target. The man laid one hand on his friend's back, the other going to his backside. He stayed still, making Barney wait, then suddenly raised his hand and brought it down onto the womanizer's right cheek with a loud **_SMACK!_**

"Ow!" Barney yelped, the first swat surprising him. He had no time to recover, as Ted gave another equally loud spank to Barney's left cheek. "G-Gah!" _This isn't going to end well..._ Barney thought, as Ted paused for a moment before beginning the real spanking. His hand repeatedly came down in a pattern. Center, right cheek, left cheek. Center, right cheek, left cheek. Barney bit his lip, trying to not let out too many noises of pain. He looked up slightly, wincing as Ted continued slapping away, seeing most of the bar-goers cheering Ted on.

"Hey, this is actually pretty fun." Ted said, with an evil smirk. "I should do this more often." he said. Barney blushed, hoping that he wouldn't. One embarrassingly painful experience was enough. "Hey!" one guy from the 'audience' shouted. "Don't you think his pants are getting in the way?" Ted paused for a moment. "Oh yeah!" and to Barney's embarrassment, and worry, his friend swiftly brought his pants down. "Actually... these are going down too." he said, fully baring his butt, as his now pink cheeks were exposed.

Barney blushed deeply. "H-Hey! No fair- OWCH!" he yelped, as Ted's hand coming down again creating this increased pain. Not to mention he sped up and started spanking harder. Barney struggled to keep his discomfort hidden, as he began kicking, and squirming. "Ow! T-Ted I think- Gah! That's e- AH! enough! OW!" he tried, yelping at each swat. Barney's rear was now a dark pink, quickly turning red. Ted wasn't done just yet. He turned smirked, and turned toward the audience. "Anyone have anything I can use?" A woman stepped forward, and handed over a hairbrush with a smirk.

Ted smiled, and lifted the brush in the air. "Ten spanks with this, and we're done." he said, slamming it down onto Barney's rear. The man jumped, and yelped at the spank. "GAH!" he shouted, clenching his fists, preparing for the next couple. Ted soon gave another, and then paused, giving time for the swat to sink in. He continued this, the audience enthusiastically counting. "...FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE!" Ted stopped at nine, and stretched his arm, before using it to smack Barney's bright red backside as hard as he could.

"GAAAAAHHHH!" he screeched at the last swat, as he jumped up, rubbing his backside, before pulling his pants up with a wince. Everyone cheered, and eventually dispersed. Barney sniffled, and Ted smirked, proud of his work. "Well, I'm going home." he said, after giving the woman her brush back, as Barney stared at him in shock. "Dude! You prom- OW!" his hand shot to his rear as Ted gave him a final smack. "I'm just kidding. Let's go. Just behave, or I'll spank you again." he teased. Barney gave him a glare. "Whatever, let's just go." he said, smacking the seat of Ted's pants, receiving a surprised yelp from Ted. "And if you're going to spank me, I hope you don't think you're ass is safe." he smirked, as Ted gave a small blush.


End file.
